


Vagary

by orphan_account



Series: the beautiful and the profound (words) [11]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Crushes, Dreams, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Making Out In The Backseat, Party, Stargazing, anathema is mentioned bc its the most important song to exist tbh, josh is kinda a loner, josh sees twenty one pilots live and it changes his life, josh works at guitar centre, popular!tyler, shy!josh, tyler is in twenty one pilots with chris and nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 22:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11450511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (n.) an unpredictable instance, a wandering journey; a whimsical, wild or unusual idea, desire or action.Josh was having that dream again, the one where Tyler was his boyfriend and not just some pathetic crush.





	Vagary

Josh was having the dream again.

The one where everything feels like it's floating, like it's made of foam, spongey and soft and everything is always just a little out of reach. Every step springs him forward like he's walking on the moon and yet he's stuck inside this janitor's closet and he knows that he's at school, something in him instinctively just knows there's a hallway full of students just on the other side of the secretly-spongey wood.

But before he can grab the handle the door is opening right through him and someone is stepping forward and spinning him around, making his stomach tingle and bubble. He feels nervous as soft lifts press firmly into his and something in his head tells him he's in love with this person, something also tells him this is his boyfriend and he's not surprised when they pull away. When he sees Tyler Joseph's lashes brush his cheeks like butterfly wings as he blinks in slow-motion and everything feels pink and mushy and like cotton candy.

"I love you." He says in a gravelly voice pressing his lips to Josh's again over and over and over again and Josh feels it all, like it's real, it's really happening.

But then Josh isn't floating anymore as Tyler's grip slips from his waist. His feet plant firmly in long grass and the sky overhead is grey with thick clouds but the rain isn't on him, he doesn't feel wet at all but he sees it beating down at the field he's standing alone in, with no mercy.

The earth turns and he feels it, the whole ground turning and he tries to cling on turning the dirt into thick clumps that fly off. Feeling dizzy as he lies down and wills the grey spinning sky to stop. Out of nowhere he slips, skids down until he's falling right off the edge of the world, he doesn't even have time to scream.

He wakes with a start, covered in sweat and upside down. His head is dangling off the edge of the bed, his legs tangled in the bed sheets just enough to stop him falling completely. His alarm blares and it makes him flinch, freeing his limbs just enough to crash his head onto the floor with a groan.

His sister stands, arms folded in his door way, staring at the way his chin is squished into his chest and his head is turning an ugly shade of purple with the influx of blood.  
"You're picking Jesse up on your way to school." She says, a fact not a question, rolling her eyes and walking away with a scoff.

Josh glares after her before he manages to kick his legs enough to lie flat. He lies there for a minute, trying not to still feel like the world in spinning as the blood in his head filters back into his legs. He ignores the way his foot spasms with pins and needles as he tries to pretend like he can't still feel the pressure of Tyler's chest on his own, his slim fingers biting into his hips, the movement of his lips onto Josh's.

Sluggishly he forces himself up off the floor and into the bathroom, not even apologising as he gets in Ashley's way trying to brush his teeth where she's doing her make up over the sink.

"You're never gonna get away with that." Josh scoffs around his toothbrush, spitting a bit of toothpaste onto the mirror. Ashley gives him a look of disgust but doesn't say anything putting more mascara on her lashes. "Also I'm not picking up Jesse, his house is the wrong direction and I said I'd take Colin."

"Tell Colin to get his brother to take him." Ashley rolled her eyes, reaching for lip gloss.

"His brother's the one who asked me to take him." Josh whined before spitting into the sink.

"Then take all of us." Ashley snapped, angrily wiping her arm on him. "If you don't I'm telling mom that you rejected Debby when she asked you out last week."

Josh glared at her but didn't argue. Simply shouting that she needed to get out so he could shower because they only had half an hour if she really wanted him to pick up her friend.

When they arrived at school Josh dragged his feet across the parking lot, zoning out whatever Colin and Jesse had hit it off talking about. His eyes caught sight of the one person he was avoiding and he felt his pace pick up, ducking his head.

"Your crush is not only blindingly obvious but also mildly pathetic." Ashley said slinging her arm around her brother.

"Shut up." Josh replied pushing his sister off him.

"No, really, like just ask Chris if he's gay already." She continued and Josh gave her a panicked look, checking around himself to see if anyone had heard her outburst.

"I'm barely friends with Chris as it is, I can't ask that." He whisper-yelled. "Now leave me alone." Josh straightened out his shirt and ducked into the school building letting himself get swallowed up by the crowd of students.

Josh had been trying to get rid of the remnants of his dream all day, so distracted by it that he almost walked straight into the music room without realising someone was already using it. He stopped in the doorway, hovering as he heard someone fumbling with the keys of the piano. He didn't recognise what they were playing and it wasn't until the person let out a loud shout of frustration that Josh realised he was staring at the back of Tyler Joseph's head. Panicking Josh turned to run but his back pack swung off his shoulder knocking a symbol propped in the corner right by the door. He grimaced as it clattered to the floor.

Instantly Josh reached down to set it back in its place, fumbling and almost dropping it. He refused to look up at where Tyler was staring at him. He ran out of the room, ignoring the shouts from behind him just desperate to get away.

He ran into a toilet stall, desperately catching his breath. He kicked at the stall door, frustrated at himself for being such a loser.

The last thing Josh expected ten minutes into his shift at guitar centre was for Tyler Joseph to walk in through the doors. Josh tried to sidestep, ducking behind the CD rack he was re-stocking hoping that Chris would find his friend and deal with it.

Josh almost jumped when he heard a small "Excuse me?" from behind.  
He turned, face flushed.

"Hey, h-how can I help?" He asked deliberately looking all over the store rather than at Tyler. His eyes found where Chris was helping some guy pick out guitar strings, he wasn't going to take Tyler off Josh's hands.

"Hey, wait, you're the kid from the music room earlier?" Tyler pointed at Josh and Josh almost collapsed, nervously nodding his head.

"I'm so sorry about that, oh my gosh." Josh tried to apologise but Tyler shook his head.

"It's cool, you know I won't bite, right? What were you even doing, were you spying on me?" Tyler smirked and folded his arms.

Josh felt his entire chest lock up. "No. Gosh, no I was looking for Mr. Johnson for something, it was an accident that I walked in on you in there I swear!" Josh stuttered over his words and Tyler smiled at him.

"Dude, relax I was joking. I'm Tyler." He held out his hand and Josh tried to subtly wipe his hand on his jeans as he reached out to shake it.

"I know." He blurted. "I'm Josh."

Tyler smiled again, showing his teeth and Josh felt the ground slip from his feet, a bundle of anxiety sinking into the heels of his feet. Tyler let go of their still joined hands and snapped out of his daze.

"Anyway, Josh," He took a deep breath. "Can you help me find an electric tuner? I just got this cool new uke, 'cos I guess, my hands are too soft for guitar." He laughed awkwardly staring at his palms and Josh wanted to slap himself for getting so caught up in the fact that his hands actually were really soft. "But I suck at tuning stuff so I need all the help I can get."

Josh forced himself to move, to speak coherent sentences. He waded across the store like he was walking through hot thick mud, escorting Tyler to the appropriate shelves.

"These are what we have, I'm not sure what will work for your ukulele though." Josh shrugged. "But we have guys here who can tune it for free, if you just bring it in." He offered and Tyler looked at him expectantly. "Not me, I-uh, I can't play anything other than drums and trumpet but Tim" Josh threw a shaky hand out to point to one of the guys currently ringing up a violin. "He can tune just about any string instrument if-if you need."

"Oh wait, no way, you're the guy Chris keeps telling me about." Tyler's whole face seemed to light up and Josh instantly froze.

"He what?" Josh asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, he said he heard one of his co-workers tearing it up on the drums on their break the other day, he said it was life-changing stuff." Tyler seemed to be teasing a little, but Josh still blushed bright red. "Dude, you have to play for me sometime."

Josh almost choked.

"Uh- I don't know about that. Music is kinda um..." Josh cleared his throat desperately trying to stop fucking this up.

"Personal?" Tyler offered, something akin to understanding washing over his face. Josh couldn't stop getting lost in his eyes. "I totally get that; music is really like cathartic to the soul or whatever. It's more than just noise it like changes things, I don't know." He continued with a wistful sigh, brushing off the seriousness of his words.  
Josh nodded frantically, amazed that someone seemed to get it.

"Well, here's a deal, I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?" Tyler winked and Josh almost had a heart attack in the middle of Guitar Centre beside the guitar strings and the electric tuners. Instead he chose to stare blankly, shaking like there was an earthquake happening solely under his feet and nowhere else. Tyler reached out for the pen that was currently strung around Josh's neck before pulling Josh's hand into his and scribbling something onto the skin of his arm. "Chris probably told you but we're playing Megan's birthday party because she begged Nick and he's sweet on her but you should definitely come, then you can see what my piano playing is meant to sound like." Tyler cocked his head, inspecting his handiwork almost proudly. He carefully clicked the pen back into its lid which still hung from Josh's neck.

Josh just stared, mouth open, hairs on his arm raised at Tyler's now missing grip. Tyler cautiously reached around Josh to grab one of the tuners off the shelf before gesturing towards the registers, silently telling Josh to follow and ring him up.

Josh stared at himself in the mirror for far longer than necessary. Trying to smooth over the collar of his floral print button-up. He sighed as he debated for the hundredth time that day if this was a good idea. He wanted to see Tyler play, to hang out with the guy who kept appearing in his dreams, who his own head found it fun to fantasize was his boyfriend. He'd only ever seen Tyler around school because he was in his class, but he never really gave him any attention. Then the baseball team had been expected to support the basketballers and vice versa and he'd watched Tyler make eight baskets in the space of twelve minutes and he couldn't get the image of his sweaty torso as he lifted his shirt to wipe his brow out of his head. Then a week later he'd got glasses and Josh couldn't stop staring at how even glasses seemed to suit him. So when junior year started and everyone kept buzzing about Tyler starting a band, Josh had literally slammed his head in his locker and screamed into his backpack (thankful no one saw). Tyler Joseph was a cliché, he was good at everything, attractive, smart, and the most genuine person anyone had met. It was impossible for Josh not to crush so hard he hated himself. Tyler didn't hog the spotlight, in fact he avoided it, he didn't brag about girls or throw parties or even go to them -not that Josh was sure because he didn't even get invited in the first place.  He was nice and humble but he still made everyone laugh, it was fascinating to watch people literally stare in awe at his presence, Josh included.

"This is ridiculous." Josh sighed scrubbing a hand over his face.

"You look funny." Abigail said, her nose scrunched up. "You smell funny too."

There was a shout of laughter as Jordan walked past the door, over-hearing. Josh threw a wash cloth at the back of his head, it bounced off his curly mop of hair, making a muffled slapping sound as it hit the floor.

"Do I really smell bad?" Josh asked, picking his youngest sister up and placing her on the counter top.

"No, you smell like daddy when he takes mommy out to dinner." She said fiddling with the doll in her hand.

"Oh great, I smell like an old man." Josh sighed.

"Why?" Abigail asked and Josh splashed cold water over his face in an attempt to pull himself together.

"Because I'm going to a party and I want to impress someone." Josh explained miserably.

"Is it Tyler? Ashley said your boyfriend was called Tyler." Abigail smiled and reached out for her brother, most likely wanting him to carry her somewhere. Josh flushed but let her jump into his arms.

"Ashley is a liar." He explained as he left the bathroom heading downstairs with his baby sister firmly in his arms. He ignored when she threw her doll somewhere behind them, secretly hoping Ashley stepped on it as pay-back.

"So Tyler isn't your boyfriend?" Abigail asked, sticking her thumb in her mouth even though their mom would probably berate her for doing so if she caught her.

"I wish." He huffed out setting her down on the couch.

"I knew it!" Ashley said from behind him. Josh whirled around to see her and Jesse walking out of the kitchen all dressed up for the party. "You know no one will see you in the car, right?" She teased taking in his outfit.

"Well it's a good job I'm not planning on staying in the car then." He replied.

Ashley's eyes went wide with horror. "No, no, no, Josh no, you are not ruining my first and probably only junior party."

"I was invited." Josh said already ushering the two sophomores towards his car.

"As if, by who?" His sister huffed, pulling her short skirt down.

" _tylerjoseph_." Josh mumbled before swinging the front door open. "Mom we're leaving now!" He shouted cutting off his sister's protests.

She sulked the whole way there, practically dragging Jesse from the car and away from Josh when they arrived. Josh rolled his eyes and took a deep breath before braving the party. He stuck to the walls, skirting around people, trying desperately to go unnoticed which he was well practiced at.

The house stank of alcohol and music echoed through the walls.

He found Tyler by accident, ducking into a room just to move out the way of people who were making out in the corridor. He looked up from where he almost tripped to see Tyler setting up his keyboard in the corner of the room. Chris was fiddling with his drum kit behind him. Tyler looked up and immediately grinned, stepping over the wires to approach Josh.

"Well if it isn't Josh the drummer." He pat Josh on the arm. "Glad you made it." He smiled and Josh scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"That's me, Josh Drum- I mean Dun." Josh shook his head, mortified but Tyler seemed to find the slip up hilarious, laughing and slapping his hand to his chest.  
Josh couldn't help but laugh too, biting his tongue to keep it in. 

Josh decided to stand at the back of the cramped room when the show started, so that he could enjoy it without other people getting in his way. Only three notes into the first song and Josh was gawping. The lyrics seemed way too meaningful to be coming from someone so _new_ to music, but there was so much passion in their performance. Josh couldn’t tear his gaze away from Tyler the whole time, even when he was trying to jump and dance along with the rest of the room. He couldn’t put into words how amazing it was, only that he was desperate to be part of it. He wanted to be in Chris’ spot, drumming beside Tyler, living in that moment.

And when they’d finished and everyone else began spreading through the house to get even more drunk Josh instantly made his way to Tyler’s side, lingering as other people hung around him. 

Tyler spotted him and seemed to break away from the group. 

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked excitedly, wiping sweat from his brow. 

Josh couldn’t stop gushing about how mesmerized he was and how he totally connected with the message and the lyrics. Tyler hung on every word, completely blown away that someone could just _get it_ that quickly when it’d taken him a solid two hours just to explain to Chris the meaning of the band name. 

Josh helped Tyler pack away his gear, piling it into Chris’ car so he could take it to store in his garage, before Tyler took his keyboard to his own car. 

“Are you sticking around for the party?” Tyler asked.

Josh scuffed his shoe and shrugged. “They’re not really my thing.” 

“Mine either.” Tyler smiled. There was an awkward silence. “Do you want to go to Taco Bell?”

Josh’s head snapped up, shocked that Tyler was actually asking him to spend more time together. Tyler smiled expectantly, and Josh nodded, letting Tyler open the passenger door to his car for Josh to get in. 

They lay on the roof of Tyler’s car as they ate and star-gazed. Talking for hours about things Josh had never told anyone but Tyler seemed to just understand. Josh couldn’t help but look at him and feel like he had spongey, sickly-sweet, cotton-candy bones, his heart thumping dangerously as he realised he would probably never be able to shake his feelings for Tyler, ever, he was so screwed. 

Tyler sighed and rested his head on his arms, humming something. He’d been doing it all evening, when loading the car, when driving and now and Josh thought it sounded familiar. 

"What's that song you keep singing?" He asked looking over at Tyler. 

"Oh I'm sorry, it's just something I've been working on.” Tyler seemed embarrassed. Then Josh placed where he’d heard it before, it had been what Tyler was working on in the music room. 

“It sounds good so far.” Josh smiled.

“Thanks, it doesn't have a name yet." Tyler replied softly. 

"I’ve always wanted to call a song anathema. But I can’t write music." Josh said nonchalantly. 

Tyler looked over at him, brow furrowed. “What’s that word mean?”

“Someone who’s damned or something. Sometimes I feel like that.” Josh sniffed and Tyler looked deep in thought. 

Josh read the look on Tyler’s face more easily that he thought he would. “You can use that for your new song if you want.” He added shyly. 

Tyler’s eyes lit up as he rolled a little closer to Josh. “You sure?”

“Of course, any way I get to be a part of what you’re doing I’m totally up for.” Josh smiled and Tyler mirrored it. 

Their faces hovered close to one another until Tyler was closing the gap to kiss Josh slowly. The millions of butterflies squirming in Josh’s stomach seemed to burst out of him as he kissed back. He felt sure he was dreaming the weight of Tyler rolling on top of him felt different, not like his dreams this felt far to real, real fingers in his hair and real lips on his and real heartbeat pushing against his own chest. 

The car he was being pushing into was hard and cold, not spongey and pink and he knew without a doubt that he wasn’t dreaming. Tyler Joseph really was kissing him and Josh wasn’t about to let this once in a lifetime opportunity go, he would _not_ fuck this up. 

Josh pushed back eagerly, letting Tyler’s tongue slip into his mouth, kissing like he wanted his lips to bruise and Tyler seemed to enjoy it. When they pulled apart Tyler was flushed red. 

“I really wasn’t sure you were gonna kiss me back there for a minute.” Tyler smirked and Josh stared open-mouthed. 

Tyler chuckled, moving off Josh and getting down from the roof, Josh sat up and slid off too, still mildly in shock. 

He was still in shock when he some how found himself furiously making out with Tyler in the back seat of Tyler’s car outside the house the party was still being held in. His hoodie discarded as Tyler pulled him in to straddle his lap. Lips working furiously, Josh’s fingers running under Tyler’s shirt as Tyler’s tangled in his hair. 

Josh never wanted to stop, like if he did this would in fact turn out to be a dream and he’d never get this chance again. He wanted to scream when his phone went off and he was forced to detach himself from Tyler’s lips. Tyler whined playfully kissing him again briefly causing Josh to laugh as he answered the phone. 

“Hello?”

“ _Josh where the fuck are you? I wanna go hooooomeee._ ” His drunken sister whined and Josh rolled his eyes. 

“Just wait by my car I’m coming now.” Josh hung up before looking at Tyler sadly. 

“I have to go drive my bratty sister home now.” He grumbled but Tyler laughed. 

“My brother is just as annoying don’t worry.” Tyler took Josh’s phone out of his hand holding it out so Josh would type in his passcode before putting his number in and saving it. Josh blushed as he handed it back with a soft kiss to his forehead. 

“Bye.” Josh smiled, his heart skipping dangerously. 

“Bye.” Tyler replied softly. 

Josh removed himself from his lap before almost tripping out of the car. He tried to shake it off as he headed for his own car, his sister hanging off her friends who were all swaying and laughing. 

Josh was exhausted when he finally got to bed but he just sent Tyler a text before he passed out just to make sure he had his number. 

He didn’t expect to wake up to three new messages from him. 

Tyler:

 _So I lied._   
_I had heard you play drums before, in the music rooms. Just really wanted to hang out with you, you’re really good._  
 _That was probably really creepy? Sorry._

Josh almost screamed when he read the messages, but instead he typed out a reply. 

Josh:

_i guess we’re pretty even then haha._

He waited all weekend for a reply, but one never came leading him to become paranoid and embarrassed. He knew it had been too good to be true. 

The next day at school Josh tried to hide how miserable he was, but no one really noticed anyway. 

“Hey.” Someone said excitedly as Josh closed his locker door. He turned to see Tyler standing beside him, in _his_ hoodie that he’d completely forgotten he left.   
Josh mumbled a “hi” back but was distracted by the girls whispering over Tyler’s shoulder, giving him funny looks because why would _Tyler Joseph_ want anything to do with the weird quiet kid. 

Tyler looked over his shoulder, following Josh’s gaze. His smile dropped as he turned back to see Josh was shuffling awkwardly.

“Sorry I didn’t text all weekend, my mom took my phone because I got home so late on Friday.” 

Josh looked up, hopeful. 

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t text me back either.” Josh mumbled. 

“I had a really great time with you Josh, I thought maybe you did too.” Tyler flushed rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Tyler smiled and Josh smiled too. “Did you want to hang out again after school?” Tyler asked nervously. 

Josh nodded. He hoped Tyler couldn’t feel how much he was shaking as he grabbed their hands and began walking to class with Josh. 

“Nice hoodie.” Josh smirked and Tyler laughed. 

“Thanks I just got it, it’s really comfy.” Tyler teased. 

“Looks good on you.” Josh complemented and Tyler smiled proudly. 

He left Josh stunned when he kissed him on the lips when they went their separate ways outside Josh’s next class. It wasn’t a janitor’s closet and Tyler wasn’t saying “I love you” but there was plenty of time for that, Josh told himself. He wasn’t planning on letting Tyler slip away quite so easily as his dreams did.


End file.
